Vacation Vacation and oh wait, more Vacation!

So, as my title reads, I'm on vacation! Its been quite amazing. I feel as I am in Heaven most of the time. I look back to a year ago and God has done some amazing stuff. Following His will really makes a difference. I am confident in my faith in God and also myself. I love myself. Its a great thing.

I had just started my vacation when someone in the church mentioned a revival happening in Florida. I grew up anti-religious with not even understanding who Jesus Christ was. I even watched the movie, "Leap of Faith" with Steve Martin where he basically mocks evangelists. I still don't quite understand the whole religious term of evangelical but I know my faith in God and I don't question it. I am in complete trust of the Holy Spirit of Jesus guiding me and I know He hears my prayers.

Life has been great since following God. Depression has stopped completely, I look forward to life, I have a career, and leadership skills. I have supernatural connections and friendships that I know will be forever. I used to be lonely but now I am never alone. Its a good thing.

So as I think about what this weekend will be like, I just have to rejoice to God at where he brought me this past year. Praise to God for the joy He has brought to my life and this opportunity to experience this revival. May God continue to bless it!!

Vacation

Well, I'm on vacation, again! I love it. I filed for unemployment on Monday - took a half hour no less. I feel good.

However, this guy at work really got on my nerves. I have to be really careful if I say anything to my boss because it was more than just bugging me, he was questioning my work and my character and I did not like it. I pray God gives me the right timing and opportunity to tell my boss if I do. I dont know if I should. I feel like because its not black and white I'll just look complaining. Its hard thing to decide.

Today I woke up at 630am naturally, made coffee and went for a run. well more like a jog.

Life is good. I just want to make sure I dont get bored the next two months.

I'm so grateful to have good health insurance and dental insurance. I got my teeth cleaned on Tuesday and they are fine!

I think I'm going to Marblehead tomorrow for the night.

Ok thats it for now....just happy to be on vacation, again!

2 weeks left of work!

Today is Memorial Day and I had Friday off so I came up to my mom's this weekend. On Friday night I saw Prince Caspien which I thought was good but I guess it got mixed reviews. Then we got Thai food and relaxed the rest of the night. Saturday morning we got up had coffee and took a walk. It is so peaceful. Then we just chilled most of the day and had dinner together.

Sunday is a whole other story! Long story short - I did an intake of a woman a couple weeks ago and she shows up at the house! It turns out her mother is friends with my mother. This is so amazing and such a God connection. It shows that God is watching over my life and knows exactly what I need. I cannot wait to go in to work Tuesday and tell my boss this story. I don't think I will be her family advocate which is okay because she is a little manic - up and down a lot. But I know whoever will be hers will be good for her. But I'm so shocked and amazed by this. God is good!

Today mom has some friends over then we are leaving in a little while to go back to Somerville. I'm ready to work again but I've really realized that I have to just appreciate enjoying the present. Joyce Meyer is amazing. She said, you have a relationship with yourself more than with other people. If you spend the whole time hating yourself, it will be a pretty aweful relationship. Its true you spend more time with yourself then anyone else, you should love yourself! Thats amazing! Those words really changed my life and that I should enjoy every waking moment. Life wouldn't be fun if I hated myself all the time. I'm going to start loving myself more.

I finish work June 6th. That is only 2 weeks away. I can't believe it. This year has been amazing, its more than a job. I've learned about myself. I've learned how I interact with others and how I interact with myself. I learned that I can do this type of work and enjoy it. I have realized that this is where God wants me to be. Thank you, Lord for all you have done!!

Quick Post

I'm on vacation again? It feels so surreal. I don't think I deserve it, yet I know I do.

Lately I feel like my life is the song, Turn It Around - lyrics are:
All things are possible for you all things are possible
Nothing's too difficult for you nothing's to difficult
I'm ready for change ready for rain ready for favor I know you able to

Chorus: Turn it around open the windows of Heaven pour out a blessing overflow turn it around open the windows of Heaven pour out a blessing we cannot contain let it rain let it rain

You have turned my mourning to dancing you've turned my sorrow to joy you have turned my whole life around thank you thank you Lord

Amen, Jesus!

Vacation!

I'm so happy to be on vacation, last night I was just so tired, I went to bed around 10pm on a Friday night. But my body needed it and I feel much better. My stomach has been hurting me a bit so I didn't eat dinner but the funny thing was that I wasn't hungry until about 9am. I woke up at 630 rested but stayed in bed until 730. I love sleep!

This week should be good, but starting today should be fun. Rehearsal at 2pm, then hopefully seeing Vanessa for a movie. I have to do some cleaning and packing. Tomorrow is church all day - literally. I'm helping with logistics from 830-1pm then doing a choir thing in the afternoon. I'll relax all night and then Monday I'm off to Marlbehead!

I'm really looking forward to getting away from the city. It is very much needed. Sometimes the city is draining on me even though I love it. I'm never bored. But it will be good to feel like i'm in a cottage near the ocean. I'll come back rested and refreshed.

I'm so looking forward to the conference thats in two weeks. Its going to be fun! I'm really starting to come into my own at the job. I believe people respect me now, my classrooms seem to fall into place. It took all year and it was a hard year but I've learned not to take things personal with the teachers, I've gained a lot of self-confidence with the hard cases I had, I really learned a lot. I felt like I was getting paid for going to school since it was such a learning experience. I bet I can get into any grad school when I decided to go.

For now I should do a little cleaning but it felt good this morning to wake up early, rested and ready to go. 9 days left of vacation here I come!

Discovery Weekend

So this was a launch of the new program at church called Discovery Weekend. It was okay. I knew most of my gifts anyways and I've been feeling kind of drained. I am doing well at work, yay! But sometimes feel a little pushed and pulled in different directions. I guess thats the nature of my job. I was thinking how could I do one more thing that God wants me to do, well I guess if its His will, he will make it happen and it will be good.

One thing that came out of this short weekend of discovery, was that I love to lead and I love to sing. Well I already knew that...but I think I want to do a traveling singing group that goes around Cambridge and Somerville to sing God's word. If you are interested, please let me know!

There are some goals that I need to think about: getting a license. I would like to get over that fear of driving and get it by August, that would be a miracle. I would love prayer in that.

I feel so accomplished that this year is almost over, only about 3 more real weeks of work, because I am off April 21-25. Then May 5-8 is our conference in Norwich CT.

So things are good, I just have to not get overwhelmed with life thats all, but thats only human right??

I praise God in Jesus name,

Awesome weekend

It has been a great weekend! First Irma and I spent together most of the time and watched two good movies: August Rush and No Reservations. I think August Rush was better but both were about the same things, feeling abandoned in life and finding acceptance later. It all takes time. Thankfully I was never abandoned in life but I still have those feelings like I will loose my parents someday, but of course everyone goes through that feeling. I'm gaining my independence by living on my own, earning my own expenses as a 20 something year old should do by now! So it feels really fulfilling.

Today I had a long day of worship! First it started with worship at the Boston site. It was good to come together as a choir and a community, thats what it is all about, worshiping Jesus as a group and give it all to God. So that was good, I could feel the Spirit touch down n us.

Then we all headed back to the Cambridge Site, caught a little of the second service and got some more worship in and then had lunch -- pizza! yay! I take pleasure in simple things though I did have four slices, whoops!

Then we had rehearsal until 345ish. We have a concert Thursday. Its cool because some of the worship leaders are singing so we are a bigger choir, it makes sense since there are loud instruments so we want more sound.

So right now I'm pretty pooped, its a good thing I have tomorrow off to recover! I think I'm seeing my mom in the afternoon/evening. Then Tuesday its back to work and Irma is starting in my job and my boss should be back, should account for an interesting week. I'm looking forward to the concert though.

God is good, and I am very happy, just very tired :)

Long time, eh?

Well I know its been forever, I said I would update more but never did, I apologize. Work has been crazy! Though I'm starting to feel more comfortable. We have a lot of issues and they built up and we finally had to resolve them last week but you know what? I'm learning a lot. I feel like I'm in an internship but getting paid. I know for sure I want to go into human services - more towards the macro end of it but at least I'm getting the micro expereince. I would love to lead a non profit someday. Who knows how long I"ll be here? But I think it will be at least 5 years before I get my Masters.

I finally have some breathing room. We have one kid who is autistic, we had to file on another kid and sporadic attendance in others. I have to call each parent where there is an issue. But I think I am getting it all. Its not that hard of a job, but I'm in a very supportive place.

Family wise, things are okay. I wish my family were different but I can't change that. My dad is sometimes rediculous. I wish when my brother died that I had more family but I'm making my own family now with church and work, so I think I have it pretty good. I've certainly worked hard for what I have and I'm proud of myself.

I am grateful for my mom for providing me with education. I feel like it gives me a heads up in this job. I know a lot more than I think I know.

I have to stop complaining and start realizing that I HAVE A LOT. I have God, I have a wonderful job where I can grow, I have a faith community where I am appreciated and connected to, I have both my parents no matter how flawed they are, I have a supportive boss, friends, my health, health insurance, food, roof over my head, some savings and happiness. I think thats all I need right?

God is good and I just have to remember that!

God knows all and knows the right timing

John 2

The Wedding at Cana

¹ The next day^[a] there was a wedding celebration in the village of Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, ² and Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the celebration. ³ The wine supply ran out during the festivities, so Jesus’ mother told him, “They have no more wine.”

⁴ “Dear woman, that’s not our problem,” Jesus replied. “My time has not yet come.”

⁵ But his mother told the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

⁶ Standing nearby were six stone water jars, used for Jewish ceremonial washing. Each could hold twenty to thirty gallons.^{[b] 7} Jesus told the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” When the jars had been filled, ⁸ he said, “Now dip some out, and take it to the master of ceremonies.” So the servants followed his instructions.

⁹ When the master of ceremonies tasted the water that was now wine, not knowing where it had come from (though, of course, the servants knew), he called the bridegroom over. ¹⁰ “A host always serves the best wine first,” he said. “Then, when everyone has had a lot to drink, he brings out the less expensive wine. But you have kept the best until now!”

¹¹ This miraculous sign at Cana in Galilee was the first time Jesus revealed his glory. And his disciples believed in him.

¹² After the wedding he went to Capernaum for a few days with his mother, his brothers, and his disciples.

Jesus Clears the Temple

¹³ It was nearly time for the Jewish Passover celebration, so Jesus went to Jerusalem. ¹⁴ In the Temple area he saw merchants selling cattle, sheep, and doves for sacrifices; he also saw dealers at tables exchanging foreign money. ¹⁵ Jesus made a whip from some ropes and chased them all out of the Temple. He drove out the sheep and cattle, scattered the money changers’ coins over the floor, and turned over their tables. ¹⁶ Then, going over to the people who sold doves, he told them, “Get these things out of here. Stop turning my Father’s house into a marketplace!”

¹⁷ Then his disciples remembered this prophecy from the Scriptures: “Passion for God’s house will consume me.”^[c]

¹⁸ But the Jewish leaders demanded, “What are you doing? If God gave you authority to do this, show us a miraculous sign to prove it.”

¹⁹ “All right,” Jesus replied. “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.”

²⁰ “What!” they exclaimed. “It has taken forty-six years to build this Temple, and you can rebuild it in three days?” ²¹ But when Jesus said “this temple,” he meant his own body. ²² After he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered he had said this, and they believed both the Scriptures and what Jesus had said.

Jesus and Nicodemus

²³ Because of the miraculous signs Jesus did in Jerusalem at the Passover celebration, many began to trust in him. ²⁴²⁵ No one needed to tell him what mankind is really like. But Jesus didn’t trust them, because he knew human nature.

Last week we discussed this in small group. How we can only trust Jesus when we see miracles. And how can we see those miracles when all we have seen is hurt? Read the last sentance carefully, No one needed to tell him what mankind is really like, but Jesus didn't trust them, because he knew human nature.

I'm coming to realize this in real life. People are not perfect, we are far from it. Therefore, we sin and mess up around each other. I have been putting my full heart into my job and love it, but I also realize that people do not know how to treat people and put me down. I have to realize that God knows this and hears my cries. I am not complaining, for I know this happens wherever I will go.

This passage in the bible is a good example of where we fall in mankind and why we need God and his perfect will and timing to bring us together.

Worship = Amazing

Its hard to put into words what worshipping a living God truly means until you experience it. You know the old saying...when you give yourself to others you feel good. Well that is what I feel when I worship God. Today was amazing, trusting in myself that it doesn't matter what others think about how we worship, just giving it to God and it will all work out. Today there were two sopranos. We had to sing a part just us two. I think 2-3 years ago I would have been so nervous but God has brought me to a place to be comfortable with who I am. We did it, and sung out. I heard my voice across the church and what an exhilaration knowing that not only am I comfortable singing outward and trusting my voice, but that I am comfortable with myself. I came home and looked in the mirror and loved what I saw. I truly feel like I am a beautiful person. Last night I slept beautifully. I am happy to get up in the morning. This is what happens when we trust our lives over to Jesus and He can turn our lives around. I am truly amazed.

Things are good

I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a job - check. I have health insurance - check. I have parents - check. I have a house over my head and food to eat - check. God is really putting me in check and I don't want to complain anymore. I have all that I need and more. It was a long road but I'm glad where I'm at right now in life, I'm just taking it all in and appreciating it. I do not need Thanksgiving to know what I am appreciative for.

This leads me to work. These people are so poor and I have so much. How does this happen? This is a question I ask God every day. I think it boils down to that we are human and we are far form perfect. God is perfect and we make mistakes. People commit bad acts against each other and leads to prejudice and mistreatment.

How can we change this? Pray and treat everyone the same. Be joyful before the Lord and love everyone. Obviously we will make mistakes and not be happy all the time. But we can try our best. I know that we all have our lives where something may go wrong. A family member might treat us wrong and that will affect how we live to this day. Parents may do us wrong and that is how we will treat others. But we have to forgive our parents to really move on with life.

God is good and I feel like I'm really moving on from the past. There is a lot to be hopeful for and I'm praying for real change in my life.

Viewpoints

Life has been pretty good. I'm happy. I know this happiness comes from God. Its not from people because even though I'm around lots of people, its God who is in me. I feel the joy from serving a living God.

Now one thing that I want to get straight on this blog is that I'm not a religous person. Or I try not to be. My parents are not believers and they think I'm crazy most of the time. I also consider myself liberal and open minded. I vote Democrat. I am pro life but that means I am against the death penalty. A lot of Christians are pro death penalty. I didn't mean to get in a political debate but it seems inevitable. These are my views. Jesus is pro life and that means in abortion and in death penalty. You can't be one way because you will be ignoring the other view. I think politics have to stay consistent.

I may be making myself completely vulnerable and I may delete this post. Please forgive me if I offend you by stating my views, but these are my views and what I believe. I do not know who I am going to vote for yet for President but it will not be Mitt Romney...he did nothing good for our economy. Politics is a sticky subject and I wish it weren't. There is one God and a bipartisan system. I wish we could bring them together. I wish we could be a true democracy. I wish the poor could get what they really need and the rich pay more taxes. I wish the hungry could get more food. I wish the health insurance was a social cause and everyone had the same type of insurance. Health insurance levels people. We should all be treated equal.

OK thats enough for now....please don't yell at me for stating my views. But if I feel like I offended anyone, I will take this post off.

Thanks for reading and God bless.

Rain

There is something peaceful about the rain tapping on the roof and that is all you hear. I'm so used to hearing sirens or dogs barking or honking. But none of that here. It is almost hard to get used to. Last night I slept from 12am-8am. That was so nice. I haven't been this relaxed in a long time. Its nice to just enjoy the last bits of vacation before a busy week ahead.

Tomorrow I have a "leveling" meeting. Its with my two teachers, boss, her boss and me. We have to see where kids are in the classroom and then its my job to call them based on what we level them by. Though its not a classifying thing. Its just to see if they need more services.

Mom and I were talking last night how unbalanced this world is. How there are so many poor people and then there are these people who have so much. I believe it is because of greed, our selfish nature that doesn't want to let go of material items and to not help others. I know I am a part of this but I am trying to change. I see poor every day in my job and I want to change the world. Though I know I can't do it alone. God has to take over our human wants and desires.

So back to the rain, even when our lives are stressful, listening to the rain patter outside makes me think, God is in this. God is everywhere, even when we don't understand a situation or let Him in. It puts me in a place of gratefulness and peace of my life.

New day

Even on a cloudy day I can picture God in creating the world. I just took a walk to Marblehead neck and watched the waves and listened at the same time. God is there. I feel he is saying, take a moment, don't always stress. I know whats best for the world. We all make our mistakes, but God is there to redeem us.

The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace. Psalm 29:11.

I pray to God that he will give me the strength and peace to deal with every challenge and to praise Him when things do not go my way, for God knows my way to everything and He is the truth and love in all circumstances.

New chapter in life

Well, I don't know anyone who has blogspot but I'm deciding to start anew. I had livejournal for years...and still do. But I'm thinking of writing more about personal growths and how God has blessed me in this journal. I don't want to be about complaining. I want to be about rejoicing about my life and those around me.

Through a turmoiling year and plenty of ups and downs, I've come to realize one thing, praising God in all circumstances and praying for His will to come is the best option. Don't get down and depressed, but realize all that God has for you if you just have a little hope and faith in Him. If you have more, he will bless you even greater. All it takes is that first step in hope in Him.

I've started work as a family advocate for Head Start in Somerville. What a blessing. I'm being challenged and also blessed working with families. Who would have thought giving an hour of your time to someone that you would also be blessed? Relationships are about give and take. I feel like I've been a somewhat selfish person. I need to realize that we are put on this earth to give back to others. If we stay in ourselves, we are not benefiting the rest of the world.

It's been a long road since graduating college. Having struggled in the past really brought me to this place where I can fully appreciate what I have now.

I'm almost 26. I do not feel like it, as I feel like I'm just starting my youth, figuring out who I am as a person. Having my brother die almost 7 years ago (!), I feel that situation opened up a whole world for me to explore who I am as a person. Since no one can really understand my parents except for us two, I have to rely on God to bring me through the hard times. However, in those hard times I also realize that God has blessed me with parents who love and care for me. Without them, I don't know where I would be.

OK thats enough for now. I'm at my mother's new house in Marlbehead, Ma. I'm really happy for her. I'm glad she found a place to relax. I'm happy with how things are and I pray to God every day that when I get frustrated, God will put a little notice in my head to praise him in this frustration or annoyance. We are all human and we aren't perfect, but God is good all the time in every situation.