Awesome weekend

It has been a great weekend! First Irma and I spent together most of the time and watched two good movies: August Rush and No Reservations. I think August Rush was better but both were about the same things, feeling abandoned in life and finding acceptance later. It all takes time. Thankfully I was never abandoned in life but I still have those feelings like I will loose my parents someday, but of course everyone goes through that feeling. I'm gaining my independence by living on my own, earning my own expenses as a 20 something year old should do by now! So it feels really fulfilling.

Today I had a long day of worship! First it started with worship at the Boston site. It was good to come together as a choir and a community, thats what it is all about, worshiping Jesus as a group and give it all to God. So that was good, I could feel the Spirit touch down n us.

Then we all headed back to the Cambridge Site, caught a little of the second service and got some more worship in and then had lunch -- pizza! yay! I take pleasure in simple things though I did have four slices, whoops!

Then we had rehearsal until 345ish. We have a concert Thursday. Its cool because some of the worship leaders are singing so we are a bigger choir, it makes sense since there are loud instruments so we want more sound.

So right now I'm pretty pooped, its a good thing I have tomorrow off to recover! I think I'm seeing my mom in the afternoon/evening. Then Tuesday its back to work and Irma is starting in my job and my boss should be back, should account for an interesting week. I'm looking forward to the concert though.

God is good, and I am very happy, just very tired :)

Long time, eh?

Well I know its been forever, I said I would update more but never did, I apologize. Work has been crazy! Though I'm starting to feel more comfortable. We have a lot of issues and they built up and we finally had to resolve them last week but you know what? I'm learning a lot. I feel like I'm in an internship but getting paid. I know for sure I want to go into human services - more towards the macro end of it but at least I'm getting the micro expereince. I would love to lead a non profit someday. Who knows how long I"ll be here? But I think it will be at least 5 years before I get my Masters.

I finally have some breathing room. We have one kid who is autistic, we had to file on another kid and sporadic attendance in others. I have to call each parent where there is an issue. But I think I am getting it all. Its not that hard of a job, but I'm in a very supportive place.

Family wise, things are okay. I wish my family were different but I can't change that. My dad is sometimes rediculous. I wish when my brother died that I had more family but I'm making my own family now with church and work, so I think I have it pretty good. I've certainly worked hard for what I have and I'm proud of myself.

I am grateful for my mom for providing me with education. I feel like it gives me a heads up in this job. I know a lot more than I think I know.

I have to stop complaining and start realizing that I HAVE A LOT. I have God, I have a wonderful job where I can grow, I have a faith community where I am appreciated and connected to, I have both my parents no matter how flawed they are, I have a supportive boss, friends, my health, health insurance, food, roof over my head, some savings and happiness. I think thats all I need right?

God is good and I just have to remember that!

God knows all and knows the right timing

John 2

The Wedding at Cana

¹ The next day^[a] there was a wedding celebration in the village of Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, ² and Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the celebration. ³ The wine supply ran out during the festivities, so Jesus’ mother told him, “They have no more wine.”

⁴ “Dear woman, that’s not our problem,” Jesus replied. “My time has not yet come.”

⁵ But his mother told the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

⁶ Standing nearby were six stone water jars, used for Jewish ceremonial washing. Each could hold twenty to thirty gallons.^{[b] 7} Jesus told the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” When the jars had been filled, ⁸ he said, “Now dip some out, and take it to the master of ceremonies.” So the servants followed his instructions.

⁹ When the master of ceremonies tasted the water that was now wine, not knowing where it had come from (though, of course, the servants knew), he called the bridegroom over. ¹⁰ “A host always serves the best wine first,” he said. “Then, when everyone has had a lot to drink, he brings out the less expensive wine. But you have kept the best until now!”

¹¹ This miraculous sign at Cana in Galilee was the first time Jesus revealed his glory. And his disciples believed in him.

¹² After the wedding he went to Capernaum for a few days with his mother, his brothers, and his disciples.

Jesus Clears the Temple

¹³ It was nearly time for the Jewish Passover celebration, so Jesus went to Jerusalem. ¹⁴ In the Temple area he saw merchants selling cattle, sheep, and doves for sacrifices; he also saw dealers at tables exchanging foreign money. ¹⁵ Jesus made a whip from some ropes and chased them all out of the Temple. He drove out the sheep and cattle, scattered the money changers’ coins over the floor, and turned over their tables. ¹⁶ Then, going over to the people who sold doves, he told them, “Get these things out of here. Stop turning my Father’s house into a marketplace!”

¹⁷ Then his disciples remembered this prophecy from the Scriptures: “Passion for God’s house will consume me.”^[c]

¹⁸ But the Jewish leaders demanded, “What are you doing? If God gave you authority to do this, show us a miraculous sign to prove it.”

¹⁹ “All right,” Jesus replied. “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.”

²⁰ “What!” they exclaimed. “It has taken forty-six years to build this Temple, and you can rebuild it in three days?” ²¹ But when Jesus said “this temple,” he meant his own body. ²² After he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered he had said this, and they believed both the Scriptures and what Jesus had said.

Jesus and Nicodemus

²³ Because of the miraculous signs Jesus did in Jerusalem at the Passover celebration, many began to trust in him. ²⁴²⁵ No one needed to tell him what mankind is really like. But Jesus didn’t trust them, because he knew human nature.

Last week we discussed this in small group. How we can only trust Jesus when we see miracles. And how can we see those miracles when all we have seen is hurt? Read the last sentance carefully, No one needed to tell him what mankind is really like, but Jesus didn't trust them, because he knew human nature.

I'm coming to realize this in real life. People are not perfect, we are far from it. Therefore, we sin and mess up around each other. I have been putting my full heart into my job and love it, but I also realize that people do not know how to treat people and put me down. I have to realize that God knows this and hears my cries. I am not complaining, for I know this happens wherever I will go.

This passage in the bible is a good example of where we fall in mankind and why we need God and his perfect will and timing to bring us together.

Worship = Amazing

Its hard to put into words what worshipping a living God truly means until you experience it. You know the old saying...when you give yourself to others you feel good. Well that is what I feel when I worship God. Today was amazing, trusting in myself that it doesn't matter what others think about how we worship, just giving it to God and it will all work out. Today there were two sopranos. We had to sing a part just us two. I think 2-3 years ago I would have been so nervous but God has brought me to a place to be comfortable with who I am. We did it, and sung out. I heard my voice across the church and what an exhilaration knowing that not only am I comfortable singing outward and trusting my voice, but that I am comfortable with myself. I came home and looked in the mirror and loved what I saw. I truly feel like I am a beautiful person. Last night I slept beautifully. I am happy to get up in the morning. This is what happens when we trust our lives over to Jesus and He can turn our lives around. I am truly amazed.

Things are good

I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a job - check. I have health insurance - check. I have parents - check. I have a house over my head and food to eat - check. God is really putting me in check and I don't want to complain anymore. I have all that I need and more. It was a long road but I'm glad where I'm at right now in life, I'm just taking it all in and appreciating it. I do not need Thanksgiving to know what I am appreciative for.

This leads me to work. These people are so poor and I have so much. How does this happen? This is a question I ask God every day. I think it boils down to that we are human and we are far form perfect. God is perfect and we make mistakes. People commit bad acts against each other and leads to prejudice and mistreatment.

How can we change this? Pray and treat everyone the same. Be joyful before the Lord and love everyone. Obviously we will make mistakes and not be happy all the time. But we can try our best. I know that we all have our lives where something may go wrong. A family member might treat us wrong and that will affect how we live to this day. Parents may do us wrong and that is how we will treat others. But we have to forgive our parents to really move on with life.

God is good and I feel like I'm really moving on from the past. There is a lot to be hopeful for and I'm praying for real change in my life.

Viewpoints

Life has been pretty good. I'm happy. I know this happiness comes from God. Its not from people because even though I'm around lots of people, its God who is in me. I feel the joy from serving a living God.

Now one thing that I want to get straight on this blog is that I'm not a religous person. Or I try not to be. My parents are not believers and they think I'm crazy most of the time. I also consider myself liberal and open minded. I vote Democrat. I am pro life but that means I am against the death penalty. A lot of Christians are pro death penalty. I didn't mean to get in a political debate but it seems inevitable. These are my views. Jesus is pro life and that means in abortion and in death penalty. You can't be one way because you will be ignoring the other view. I think politics have to stay consistent.

I may be making myself completely vulnerable and I may delete this post. Please forgive me if I offend you by stating my views, but these are my views and what I believe. I do not know who I am going to vote for yet for President but it will not be Mitt Romney...he did nothing good for our economy. Politics is a sticky subject and I wish it weren't. There is one God and a bipartisan system. I wish we could bring them together. I wish we could be a true democracy. I wish the poor could get what they really need and the rich pay more taxes. I wish the hungry could get more food. I wish the health insurance was a social cause and everyone had the same type of insurance. Health insurance levels people. We should all be treated equal.

OK thats enough for now....please don't yell at me for stating my views. But if I feel like I offended anyone, I will take this post off.

Thanks for reading and God bless.

Rain

There is something peaceful about the rain tapping on the roof and that is all you hear. I'm so used to hearing sirens or dogs barking or honking. But none of that here. It is almost hard to get used to. Last night I slept from 12am-8am. That was so nice. I haven't been this relaxed in a long time. Its nice to just enjoy the last bits of vacation before a busy week ahead.

Tomorrow I have a "leveling" meeting. Its with my two teachers, boss, her boss and me. We have to see where kids are in the classroom and then its my job to call them based on what we level them by. Though its not a classifying thing. Its just to see if they need more services.

Mom and I were talking last night how unbalanced this world is. How there are so many poor people and then there are these people who have so much. I believe it is because of greed, our selfish nature that doesn't want to let go of material items and to not help others. I know I am a part of this but I am trying to change. I see poor every day in my job and I want to change the world. Though I know I can't do it alone. God has to take over our human wants and desires.

So back to the rain, even when our lives are stressful, listening to the rain patter outside makes me think, God is in this. God is everywhere, even when we don't understand a situation or let Him in. It puts me in a place of gratefulness and peace of my life.